my church experience today

I feel compelled, somehow, to share with you of my day at church. 

My husband had been scheduled to make lattes at the cafe so he left for church before I did. All during my preparations of going to church I was listening to some of my favorite worship music and couldn't wait to get there. I was actually a few minutes late getting there, but still one of the first to enter our ABF room. 

ABF is Adult Bible Fellowship instead of Sunday School, but I sometimes still refer to it is Sunday School.

Soon everyone who was going to be there showed up and in the middle of the room, on the table, was a wine glass, a small pitcher of grape juice and a plate of matzo bread. We were going to have communion service, just our little class. 

In our ABF class we have a person leading out and a teacher. Our leader opened up and said that he had asked for permission of the teacher and our pastor, who is also in our class, if he could lead out in a communion service for our class. Both men consented and so our leader took the challenge and he did a very nice job of sobering our thoughts, and helping each of us come to the foot of the cross in remembrance of what the meaning of the cross really is about. Together we read the Bible, together we shared, together we prayed, and together our small class participated in communion. It was one of the sweetest, most unifying acts I've ever been a part of. 

After ABF class we entered the sanctuary and it was time to worship. One of the songs the worship team played always gets me. It was as if it had been ordained by God himself to have our worship leader pick that song to sing today. The words are powerful and such a reminder to me of who God really is. Please click on the link below and take a few moments to hear the words. Powerful! (This is not our worship team on the clip, but a good version of the song I found on YouTube for you to listen to.)

 Great I Am

Our pastor also delivered a powerful message of being a part of the church. He painted a wonderful picture, using art to remind us of how we all have to be a part of the church so that the whole thing comes together as God's plan was intended. He reminded us that the painter uses all kinds and shapes of brushes and colors to paint  his paintings. All of them are needed. Not just the fat brushes who do a lot of the work on a painting, but the little skinny brushes, that might only be used in certain areas to highlight the painting are needed as well. I was compelled to get up after the service and go fill out a little card asking to be on a certain team. As I went down through the list of teams we have in the church, this one just jumped out at me. If there are openings on that team for me to be a part of, we will see how that shapes up and what God has in store for me. 

Life is an adventure if you are following Christ. 

Now, to share my heart, really, share. I struggle with trust. We have been attending this church for several years and we have not become members because I keep holding back. I've been in various church settings where there were either folks slandering each other all day long, or Bishops throwing their authority around and making us conform even if we didn't agree, and in another church we used to attend they had three church splits while we attended their services. In a nutshell, I have not had the best experience in my church going history. I don't easily trust church people. Know what I mean? But in the past year or so I've been learning about church and what it looks like to be real with each other. I've had some of my best experiences in church, at this church, and each day I trust church people just a little bit more. It is like God is using this church to finally help me heal of all the bad experiences in the past. 

What I am feeling today, is uncommon. I'm not sure I can explain. I feel like I'm a part of "home". You know how that feels? I like that in our ABF class this morning there was a certain theme that folks kept coming back to, we all seem to want unity and an outpouring of love and sacrifice coming from our class. It is interesting how folks touched on so much of what has been going on inside of myself. It must surely be a "Holy Spirit" thing, no? 

Another part of what makes church feel like "home" to me is our Wednesday evening group. The gentleman leading this class is doing such a wonderful job of teaching and brings out so many truths and has shed light on some lies that I've believed for a long time. I wish I could explain the impact it has had on my life, because it has been such a relief and life changing for sure. 

So, what have I been learning? If you keep seeking and you open yourself up, God WILL help you figure things out. He will lead and guide you down the proper avenues so that you can become full and grow and learn. I've never been comfortable with staying the same. I feel so challenged every Sunday when I leave our church parking lot. Challenged to work on myself, and to become a better Christ follower. I don't care so much what folks think of me anymore, I just want what God wants for my life. I have no need to excel in everything in my life as I once did. I just want to live life as a better Christian and to be in unity with my fellow Christ followers and to love and sacrifice where it is needed. 

Lamentations 3: 22-26

22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassion's never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
    therefore I will wait for him.”

25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
    to the one who seeks him;
26 it is good to wait quietly
    for the salvation of the Lord

Blessings all! 

Lue